Monthly Archive: October 2012

Oct 30

4/6 ‘Reflective Listening’ is Important in Conflict Solutions?

We continue our series on the importance of good communication when facing Conflict solutions.  So far we have tqalked about the need to really listen to others to hear the underlying issues.  We brought up the topic of biases and jugdements that hinder discussions. 

Then, in our last post, we presented 12 very comment Road Blocks to Communication with others.  Now we continue with the concept of ‘Reflective’ or Active Listening in Conflict Solutions.

Remember our example of the discussion between Jacko and Chelsea over how to spend their day together from post 4/2?  I have repeated the story here:


Oct 24

4/5 ‘Roadblock Responses’ that block Conflict solutions

In this post, Conflict Solutions continues with our discussion on what blocks good communication by looking at questions or statements that hinder finding the real meaning behind ‘just words’.

1.  One of the biggest issues with talking with anyone is making sure what you said…is what they heard! 

Here is an example: recently, you overheard a young girl say: “I wish it would stop being such a hot summer”.  What would you think she meant?  How would some people reply?

If someone was using any of the ‘Roadblock Responses’ we talked about last time, you might hear them respond with:


Oct 20

4/4 Our Personal Filters – our Sunglasses on Conflict Solutions


Over the years, I have come to respect the power of people’s beliefs.  The thing that has amazed me is that a belief is more than just an idea – it seems to shift the way in which we actually experience ourselves and our lives. 

What we believe about ourselves can actually hold us hostage.   It’s true:  “We do not see things as they are.  We see them as we are.”


Oct 12

4/3 Blocks to Real Listening for Conflict Solutions

In this series on Conflict Solutions, we are aiming to share the importance of learning to really listen to what others are saying to avoid conflicts and to imnprove relationships.

Next time you are ‘talking’ with someone, stop and watch what your mind is doing.  Concentrating on the person ….or  ?  Sometimes, we are so self-centred or too fact-orientated that we miss important information being shared.  Other times, we may be concentrating on putting up barriers to guard ourselves to allow real shared conversations.

1. Self-imposed Barriers to listening

It is easy to get distracted when listening to others.  Here are some common reasons:

Oct 07

YouTube Videos on Active Listening Communication Skills

In Conflict Solutions, we covered ‘Active Listening’ versus ‘Reflective Listening’  This video asks the question: ‘Do you know the difference?’  Uploaded by StephenSeminars on Sep 22, 2010 from

Our second YouTube video is by Russ Peterson, explaining why Active Listening is difficult to practice.’  Uploaded by iSpeakDotCom on March 30, 2009.

Russ Peterson explains how your amazing brain functions. He explains why Active Listening and focused attention is so difficult for all of us.

We trust these two videos have been of help in your journey to learn better communication skills,


Oct 04

4/2 The Importance of Listening in Conflict Solutions

It seems strange to have to talk about communication with human beings who ‘communicate’.  We all talk to and listen to people every day.   It seems almost common sense – or is it? 

The reason we must cover this topic when it comes to Conflict Solutions is because IT IS an essential and universal aspect of human culture.  We all communicate, but most of us need to learn more skills to do it better.  Learning to listen is the foundation for all communications!