Monthly Archive: March 2016


Mar 27

1/10 Learning from unsuccessful encounters for Conflict Solutions

ResourcesIn our last post, our couple ruined their evening out with unsettled issues. Let’s go back as see how the encounter could have been differently handled. Learning to see below the situation could have brought a good list of useful information to work through. Can you think of some of the points they could have explored to bring a deeper understanding?

Although being late was a valid reason to begin the discussion, it was trivial and not the real issues that were beginning to trouble our couple. The intensity and bottled up grievances were bubbling into greater and unproductive quarrels. They were both building up unspoken complaints about they other that would eventually drive them apart.


Mar 24

1/9 Ignorance is never a foundations for Conflict Solutions


When partners have not learned to be real with each other, a sense of dullness sets in. 19conflict1

Here are our couple later in the week:

Priscilla: “So how was your day, Mickey?”
Mickey: “Oh, OK.”
Priscilla: “Wasn’t today the day you were going to ask for that raise in pay?”
Mickey: “Huuummmm, yes.” (absently minded)
Priscilla: “So ….what happened? (looking out the window)
Mickey: “I’m waiting for a better time.” (Sidestepping her real question)
Priscilla: “Have you given up then….? (Voice raised)
Mickey: “Where we are going for dinner then? (Avoiding any further conflict)
Priscilla: “Why have you changed your mind then?”
Mickey: “Ahh, haven’t …..”
Priscilla: “Don’t you think ….”
Mickey: “Let’s not talk about this anymore.” (growing angry)
Priscilla: “OK, OK, OK ….what ever….” (equally angry but biting her tongue to stop the words.