Category Archive: Conflict and Relationship Expectations

Conflict with relationship expectations

Jan 14

An interesting Book: Life Strategies by Dr. Phil McGraw

FB Life Straties

 FB Life StratiesWe all need to have a sense of purpose and Godly control in our lives.  It’s the ‘Doing what works; doing what matters’ that brings us closer to our true identity.  Sometimes, we need some timely help to reach the best way of doing things.  Here is Part 1 of a YouTube segment featuring Phil McGraw’s book Life Strategies. 

‘You are in Control of your Destiny’

We do need to live with a purpose and find the solutions to the conflict that face us.  Here are comments about the ‘Life Strategies’ book by Steven Szmutko:


Aug 20

5/25 Website of the Month – Marriage Revolution by Debra White Smith

Breaking Free from Your Family of Origin

Debra White Smith writes as an Author for ‘Marriage Revolution’, Monday, male female tug of warApril 07, 2008

Debra’s comments are based on the Passage: Genesis 2:20-25

Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they shall be one flesh. Genesis 2:24 KJ

  There can be no cleaving without leaving. A husband and wife cannot fully join to each other until they have severed dependence on their families of origin. While connection with extensive family networks can be a great source of support and encouragement, they were never meant to be a controlling factor in the lives of a married couple.

Aug 11

5/24 A Relationship Profile on Conflict Solutions

ResourcesConsider the following statements about your relationship with your partner.  This is a profile FOR YOUR EYES ONLY.  You will not be asked to share it with anyone.  It is only for your own private consideration.  Be honest and go with your first reactions.  You do not need to spend an excessive amount of time on each item. 

Rate yourself in Column A.  Then rate what you think that your partner thinks about you in column B, using a 0 to 5 scale:

Rate the statement on a 0 = “This is not true for us.” to 5 = “This is very true for us.”


Aug 09

5/23 Life Law #5: “You can’t change what you won’t Acknowledge.”

Life Stratagies - McGrawWe continue with the Life Law series from Dr. Phil McGraw’s book on ‘Life Strategies’ with the topic of ‘You can’t change what you won’t Acknowledge’.  We have covered other parts of his book and his ‘life laws’ in previous posts.  Life Law #2:  “You either get it or you don’t.” 

Then we talked about ‘Payoffs.  From there, we shared Dr. Phil’s Life Law #3: “You Create your own Experience’.

 In this post, we continue with Dr. Phil’s lessons on finding the kind of life you want:

Jul 31

5/22 Tips for having a successful relationship – Mantalk

One of the most interesting series of video is the ‘Man Talk’, uploaded by   SupDaily06 in January, 2012.  The theme is one everyone would be familiar with … forgive those around you.


We hope  you found this as interesting and challenging as we did!

Susanne Fengler, Blog Author


Jul 24

5/21 The 10 Common Myths about having a great Marriage

fidelity couple2If we have grown up watching movies about happy endings or reading the latest romance novels, we can get the wrong idea about relationships and marriage. 

We might then begin to have those expectations of people around us.  We might really believe that life is a ‘happily ever after’ fairy tale.  However as most of us have learned, the wedding is the easier part because the marriage takes work!

Here are 10 of the most common myths when people have unreal expectations about relationships and marriage:

Myth No. 1:      “A great relationship means you have to think alike on every issue.”


Jul 18

5/20 Conflict Solutions and the Household Duties

couple6The issues in who does what around the home is one of the crisis points for many relationships.  ‘You never clean the toilet!’ …or    ‘You never clean the car!’ can be heard in many houses.  So what are the roles in running a house and who does what in your home?

Who takes the responsibility for the household and outside duties, for discipline and raising the children, for finances, communication and planning style, for initiating sex and personal pleasure or for long range planning?

Print off this post if it helps you sort through the issues of conflict over duties.


Jul 11

5/19 Understanding Payoffs in Conflict Solutions

Life Stratagies - McGraw

In this post we want to talk about a concept we often find in Counseling and Mentoring: “Why do people do what they?”

Life Stratagies - McGrawDr Phil McGraw answers this question with his ‘Life Law #4: “People do what works.”   People do what they do because of ‘Payoffs’.  Think about the concept and begin to see other’s actions actions in the understanding personal payoff.  It might take some thinking but it’s well worth the time and energy to help see other’s through different eyes.

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