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Feb 27

4/24 Personal Worksheet: How do you handle Conflict Solutions?

Here is a post for you to think about and see where y0ur Personal Communication Style might need some work.

Directions:  Rank each of the following questions according to how often and / or how strongly the answer ‘yes’ applies to you by giving yourself points from 0 to 10.  The higher the score means the more attention needs to be applied to your conflict solutions.

0 = Never        5 = About 50% of the time      10 = always

__ 1.  Do you have a tendency, when in an argument, to say to the other person, “Well, you always”, or “I never…”?

__ 2.  Do you often state your opinions about things as though they were proven facts (for example:  “Murderers should be executed”)

__ 3.  When something or someone makes you angry or frustrated, do you tend to blow up at someone or something else?

__ 4.  Do you often feel in regard to people who are close to you that “if they really cared about me, they would know how I feel”?

__ 5.  Do you have a tendency to cover up your real feelings, saying:  “I’m fine” when you are really not, or “Nothing is the matter” when it really is?

__ 6.  Do others frequently tell you that you haven’t really listened to them or say to you “That’s not what I meant” or “That’s not what I said”?

__ 7.  Do you have a habit of saying, in an argument, such things as:  “You don’t listen to me” or “You never let me …”?

__ 8.  Do you tend to argue on the spot, whether there’s an ‘audience’ or not, even thought it’s no one else’s business?

__9.  When arguing with someone, do you find yourself asking them questions and then answering them yourself, often before they can get a word in edgewise?

__ 10. When you argue, does it tend to be about ‘the same old things’?

__ 11. Do major disagreements with people, especially those close to you, leave you hurt or depressed or feeling like “people who love each other shouldn’t disagree with each other like this”?

__ 12. In an argument or ‘heated discussion’, are you generally out to win?

__ 13. When you feel like someone is getting the better of you in an argument, do you tend to cry, take off in a huff, pout or try to hurt the other?

__ 14. Do you get the impression from others that they think you are too bossy, too critical or too opinionated?

__ 15. Do you get the feeling that others find you too moody, sullen or quiet?

__ 16. When talking with others, do you frequently tend to monopolize the conversation?

__ 17. When someone is talking to you, do you often find yourself thinking about what you are going to say when s/he finishes their statement?

__ 18. Have others told you that you are a hard person to get to know?

__ 19. Do you tend to cut people down, or use sarcasm?

__ 20. Do you hate to be corrected for a mistake you’ve made, or to admit it when you’re wrong?


Adapted from ‘Relating’, p. 60

Susanne Fengler. Blog Author

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