Mar 06

4/26 Conflict Solutions – Males and Females are created to be Different

 girl with glassesWe begin this part of our Conflict Solutions blog by tracing how some of the common conflicts happen between males and females in our world. The first major point we all need to accept and integrate into our relationships between the sexes is that Creator God made Males and Females to be Different!

Here is a funny story to show the common view of males and females:

“One day while walking on a beach, a man found a bottle. Rubbing the sand from the bottle, a genie awaited his requests. The man thought for a minute and finally said: ‘Because I like to travel to New Zealand, would you build a bridge for me to get there easily?’  The genie looked very doubtful.

“Huuummm…… that would be a big project…” Then said the man “OK what I would really like is to understand women.” “Well”, the genie said thoughtfully, “….now about that bridge, two lanes or three?” 

Huuummm sorry if that offends those what want to be ‘socially correct’ but it is a true statement, All you have to do is to look around you, no matter what age, males and females react, respond and live life differently.

male female diff…and why is that? We can trace the different back some 7,000 years. Please notice, I am not referring to thousands or millions of years. As professional Counsellors and Mentors, we find the answers to question of differences in one of the oldest books ever written – the Bible. What, I can almost hear you gasp. It is not a myth, but our Creator’s infallible Word.

Come with me to the first story every written about male female relationships….to Genesis 1:26-27 to chapter 3:21. You might have to search for a Bible or even blow off the dust, but I promise it will be very informative and instructive. In fact, not much has changed in the past 7,000 years!

A. Both Males and Females were made in the Image of the Creator, Genesis 1:26-27

1. Let’s begin the foundation story: Genesis 2:7, 18-22.

Before there was time and space, One infinite, all-knowing Being existed. This being who we call ‘God’, filled everything and was everything. As this Being began creation, this One was perfect in understanding and wisdom. The object of this Creation – a people who could share time and space in a physical and spiritual world with their Creator.

2. So a man was created to help ‘tend’ the creation in a perfect environment called the Garden of Eden’.

The Creator breathed life into what was created from the dust of the ground. This person had a will and soul, a mind and a spirit. He was called Adam and his job was ‘…to guard, guide and govern…..’ the world around him. However, after all the animals were brought to Adam to name, none were found suitable as a companion for him.

3. The Creator made a ‘Wow-man!’

The Creator could see that Adam was lonely. It was not good for man to live alone and so another being was created – but not from the earth as Adam was. This one was created from the flesh of Adam, from his rib. This one would be ‘…bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh.’ …and so the all knowing Creator presented Adam with his wife.

ResourcesI am sure when he saw her, it was something like “WooooW….Mannnnn!” She was named woman as she was taken from man.

We aren’t told much about their existence in the Garden of Eden but they both walked and talked with their Creator. Life was perfect for this first couple. They saw beauty around them and tasted of the goodness of their Creator. They must have watched new life come through other animals and perhaps been curious about their own beginnings.

I believe they lived in the full potential of human intelligence, strength and intuition. They could do anything they wanted…except the one things the Creator didn’t want them to do ….learn to deal with evil from the ultimate source of evil….unprotected by the Creator’s wisdom and love.
They were able to go anywhere in the Garden and eat anything from the Garden….except from the Tree that was called ‘the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil’. This tree represented all the knowledge of the nature world, including rebellion, self-reliance resulting in death and destruction….leading to everything outside connection with Creator God.

So what happened? Obviously we are not in this same perfect Garden of Eden today. From that point onwards, males and females had communicated differently.

It’s important to note a few things before we leave this couple.  First, Adam was the one who chose; Eve was deceived into believing she could be made perfect with knowledge.

Second, Adam let Eve to ‘the dirty work’.  I do believe he wanted to get the fruit fro the tree but allow Eve – who he was to guard, guide and govern – ‘do it’.  He withdrew, abdicated his authority and she steeped in ‘to do it’.

This ‘story’ sets the old nature in the male and in the female.  Sad to say, I would suggest that 80% of couples are some how caught in this same sequence: most males withdraw and most females step in to ‘do it’ – what ever ‘it’ is.

Then the biggest question, how do we re-balance and re-construct what the Creator intended: males and females working as a team, protected, respected and loved?

We will cover more of this topic  in our posts when we talk about conflicts between males and females.

Susanne Fengler, Blog Author


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