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May 24

The Five Languages of Apology for Conflict Solutions

d Conflict 5 Languages of ApologyHere is a guest post on a very important book for Conflict Solutions: The Five Languages of Apology by Pastor Sharon White.

“Ever had someone say “I’m sorry” but their words don’t really hit the hurt spot that needed to hear an apology?  Sometimes these are just words; there is still a hole in the relationship. 

I’m sorry” becomes too easy, too general for the hurt caused.  Jennifer Thomas and Dr Gary Chapman have co-authored a book that addresses this very issue and offers a solution to help restore communication in relationships.

“According to her own personal story (Jennifer), there are actually 5 different ways to say ‘Sorry’ so that the person really hears the message.  After a disagreement with her husband, her apology didn’t seem to convey the depth needed to restore the relationship. 

“Sometimes, “I’m sorry” means other things.  “I’m sorry I got caught.”  Or “I’m sorry, now I’ll have to pay the fine.”  “I’m sorry you don’t see this my way because you are so wrong and I’m right.”  Parents and teachers, and many others of course, hit this wall.  “I’m sorry” but without the added “I’ll learn from this mistake and not do it again.”  “I’m sorry” as a stand-alone statement is too general and universal to completely convey what is often needed to restore relationships.

“This caused her husband, Gary Chapman, to start thinking that maybe there were other things people needed to release an offense and accept the words spoken.  From his resulting survey, he found there are actually five different aspects for the apology to be delivered for a sense of completeness or release to happen.


1.  To express regret that the incident happened: “I’m sorry it happened.”

2.  To take the responsibility for what went wrong: “I was wrong.”

3.  To make restitution for the incident: “What can I do to make it right?”

4.  Sincere, genuine repenting: “I’ll try not to do it again.

     I’ll aim to turn away from such behaviour and do different from now on.”

5.  Request forgiveness and hearing the words: “Will you forgive me?”

We all have different ‘Love Languages’ and now you can learn what your ‘Apology Language’ contains to help restore the connection in relationships.”


 Thanks, Sharon White for sharing your latest Life Changing Christian Book!

 You can buy your copy through my Affiliate code HERE:


PS.  Another good place to see a review of this book:

Susanne Fengler, Blog Author 


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