address home research



Jan 06

1/5 We want to focus on ‘Real Listening’ to resolve conflicts

Human beings are notoriously bad listeners. Those of us who like to talk don’t listen well. But even if we aren’t talking, we may be off in our own little world, fhead03listening to ourselves rather than the other person.  One of the first things we have to do to establish or enhance a relationship, is to listen well to the other person. This can be difficult if we haven’t been trained to listen, or are in such an emotional upheaval that it is near impossible.

Listening is a loving act.

Real listening means being interested in someone.

The book “Messages” says this:

“Being quiet while someone talks does not constitute real listening. Real listening is based on the intention to do one of four things:

* Taking time to understand someone,
* Enjoy someone enough to listen,
* Learning something about the other person.”

Jesus communicated effectively

Jesus was someone who could effectively ‘connect’ with people who were willing to listen. He could read people’s hearts and so knew exactly where they were ‘coming from’. One of the great stories of the Bible is Jesus at the village well, talking to a Samaritan woman (John 4). Notice that Jesus starts out the conversation with a loving, but challenging request: “Will you give me a drink?” She chastises Him for asking her to do something that the Jews did not approve of – a Samaritan associating with a Jew and a woman talking to a strange man.

Jesus responds with a riddle. He deliberately talks on a different level to her, to force her out of her limited mind-set. Jesus talks to her in spiritual terms while she keeps responding naturally. Communication hasn’t taken place yet, as both are on different ‘wavelengths’.

When Jesus gives her a Word of Knowledge about her many husbands, and the defacto relationship she has at the moment, He really gets her attention. She leaves the fear of talking to this strange Jewish man behind and ‘hears’ Jesus for the first time. Both of them then talk on the same wavelength and the story unfolds.

Susanne Fengler, Blog Author



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