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Mar 20

3/6a Male Female Differences and Conflict Styles

A.  WELCOME BACK AND A QUICK REVIEW

In our first Introduction to Male Female differences, we discussed:

The next huge difference in Conflict Solution styles come from the foundations of male-female differences. An interesting book I read recently was called ‘Women are like spaghetti and men are like waffles’. Of course not all men more all women fit the stereotyped male and female image we see in cartoons. However, the way we see the world around us is shaped by our gender and intuitive/logical stance many people take in the areas of disagreement and conflict.

Then we continued our discussion on what causes so much conflict around us, we have discussed a huge area of our Family or Origin and the influence this has on our personality.  The years spent in your early environment greatly shaped your views, attitudes and goals for the rest of your life.

We can all be thankful that the mixture of valuable lessons and painful experiences can be used, changed and grown as we enter into adulthood.

Next, we laid out the differences between connected and disconnected families and the results if this is the family style you knew as you grew up.  We also talked about the Flexible versus the rigid family styles and this influence as you view conflicts.  We even included two worksheets for each family style.

We now continue our topic on Personality Difference, with another huge area that influences your conflict style – both to the positive and at times, to the negative: Male Female Differences!

B.  BEING MALE OR FEMALE IS SET IN OUR GENES

Irregardless of how hard some people work to irradiate differences between little boys and little girls, the sex role behaviour still persists.  Perhaps because this is part of the God-given programs from our Creator.

One Mother observed her two children at the Preschool when given a ‘sex-biases free environment’.  What she observed was her little boy enjoying his ‘truck‘, zooming around the room with the doll he was given a doll.  Next door was her little daughter, cuddling and dressing the army characters she was given, trying to gather them together as their mother.

True, the environment does shape being a boy or a girl but so does our genetic inheritance.  Certainly, I agree that little girls will want to climb trees – I did – and some little boys will enjoy dress-ups and tea parties; there is nothing wrong with this.  However, the point of our discussion for this blog is the influence of being a male or a female has on seeing handling conflict and seeing Conflict Solutions.

C.  NOT ALL MALES OR ALL FEMALES ARE ALIKE

When ever we talk about Male Female differences, we must always stress that not all males are in the grouping being discussed, not ar4e all females all in the same basket.  We can apply a bell-shaped curve to show gender differences.

Research shows that 80 to 85% of males will fit the ‘standard issue male’, while 15 to 20% of men will have developed a more ‘female’ brain.  For women, 10% will have more ‘masculinised’ brains. (Pease, Allan and Barbara.  Why Men Don’t Listen and Women Can’t Read Maps, page 63, Pease Training International, New South Whales, Australia, 1998.)

We begin our next post with a Guest Writer, Daniel Fengler.  He has been a Counsellor and Mentor for over 20 years.  He takes the discussion into the area of ‘Understanding Women – a Male Perspective’. 

Join us then,

Susanne Fengler, Blog Author

www.conflictsolutions.mentorsnotebook.com/blog

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