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Apr 18

3/7c Then what about Sexuality Differences?

We continue with Part three with our Guest writer, Daniel Fengler.  So far we have seen why is it important that we think about this topic and understand the Male perspective in understanding women.  Daniel also present what he has found to be five main difference in most male and female personalities.

So we continue with Daniel’s Guest post on the two big areas between males and females: perception of strength and weakness of females and the area of sexuality.

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C.  FRAGILE VERSUS THINK-SKINNED

What does the Holy Spirit mean when He calls women “weaker” in the passage in 1 Peter 3:7?

“Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.” (NIV)

Women are weaker in the sense of ‘fragile’.  Most women are more easily injured when it comes to relationship issues.  Women have a greater need to talk things out, men need to respect this, not despise it.

Many women need to talk about their hurt.  It is healthy for both men and women to verbalise their feelings.  Women live on average 8 years longer than men, partly because by sharing feelings, they reduce stress and tension and so keep their bodies healthier.  Intellectual men, on the other hand, may ‘blow their heart right out of their chest’ if they keep it all bottled up inside.

D.  DIFFERENCES IN SEXUAL AROUSAL

One area where there is some friction between most couples is the area of sex.  For most wives, sexual arousal includes an emotional aspect (relationship) that doesn’t need to be in the husband.  This is a huge area to try and cover in such a short blog space so I will only address what I have learned on the main two areas of differences between males and females.

1. “Warm fuzzies” are part of female sexual arousal

When I bring my wife a cup of tea in the morning and makes ‘contact’ with her, it is part of the ‘warm, fizzy’ feelings that make her want to have sex with me.  For many wives this arousal may take the whole day to increase.  One moment of conflict can ‘destroy’ the whole process.  Some one once said that men are like gas oven while women are like electric ovens – which takes longer to get ‘hot’?

2.  Visually stimulation is important for Males

Males, on the other hand, can get visually stimulate very easily, which means they can ‘come on’ very quickly.  This is also the source of male lust problems.  It is said that “Men will give touch to get sex, women will give sex to get touch”.

E.  WOMEN DON’T WANT TO BE USED

Many wives get angry and disappointed if they feel they are there just to fulfil the male’s sex drive.  The husband needs to spend time in romance and foreplay to bring the wife to arousal.  If the woman is not getting anything out of it for herself, she will be reluctant to participate the next time.

Some men only touch their wives when they want sex.  This is insulting for women, especially since touch is a human and female need.  Men that do this need to repent and start to just enjoy touching their wives for the sensuality of it.

F.  IN CONCLUSION

Women and men are designed by God to be physically, emotionally and relationally different from each other.  Women are not just ‘males’ in female bodies!!  It takes time, relationship and romance to properly sexually arouse most wives.

Take the attitude to study women as a scientific curiosity!

Daniel Fengler, Counsellor and Mentor

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Thanks for your contributions on this topic, especially from a Male’s perspective.  We need to know about the differences so we can enjoy the ways we are meant to live and work together in our different worlds.  We might invite Daniel back when we talk about conflicts over sex!

Susanne Fengler, Blog Author

www.conflictsolutions.mentorsnotebook.com/blog

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