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Mar 25

6/17 (1) The Intuitive versus Rational thinking patterns in Conflict Solutions

couple parentsSo far in our discussion on ‘What your dad didn’t tell you about the opposite sex’, we have looked at two of the seven main misunderstandings about males and females.  We talked about the unconscious belief that females are just like males but in a female body.  How wrong this misdirected conception is ….. and how painful when males and females hold this unrealistic idea.

Then the second area we looked at was the interesting view that opposites can and do attack.  It’s finding the right balance and combining the talents and gift of both people that often holds the key to good working relationships.  

In this post, we will tackle another major difference between most males and most females:  The Intuitive versus Rational thinking patterns. 

Intuitive versus Rational differences

Often when people talk about male / female differences, they are really talking about the way a person perceives the world around them and makes decisions.  Do they primarily use logic (rational) or emotions / spiritual (intuition)?  This difference, some of which is ‘hard-wired’ into the physical brain, can be hard to overcome.

As a general rule, males tend to be more rational, females more intuitive.  When this is not the case, people can become very confused.  In relationships it is often the case of ‘opposites attract’.  This is totally normal and Godly.  The problems usually start with judgements made out of pride, ignorance or hurt.

Most females work on an intuitive basis while most males adapt problems in logical thinking.  It’s not right or wrong ….. but here is a difference in the way each person sees the world and solves their issues. 

Intuitive people work a lot by their ‘inner knowing’.  They can be more emotionally and spiritually sensitive.  They “know that they know”, but may have difficulty putting things into words.  They need space to express themselves, to talk until they find their truth. 

This can be a problem if an intuitive is trying to relate to a veryfamily or origin logical person, as logic tends to want to debate to prove their thinking.  However, intuitives often tend to have good relationships, because relationships are mostly a combination of emotional and spiritual activity.

Most rationalists want to work with facts.  They work by ‘external knowledge’ or using logic to solve problems.  Sometimes, the logical, rational viewpoint eliminates, does not respect or understand emotions or spiritual things. 

Another problem is that intuitives often resolve problems by talking them through.  Since they don’t seem to have ‘finished’ their thinking process, they can change the final outcome of what they are thinking.  Logicals tend to resolve their thinking internally and many times, do not need to talk things through to see the bigger picture versus the Intuitives who do need the space to talk things out.  As we can see from this difference between the genders, this is where many conflicts begin. 

This process seems to rationalists as though the intuitives have ‘changed their minds’ when the truth is they have only processed the information further, the same as a rationalist does internally.  This is why it seems that women have taken the “right to change their minds”!!

The major friction between these groups is that rationalists (mostly men) don’t give intuitives (mostly women) enough scope to really explain themselves before the man either gets impatient, or cuts her off.

eden2The issue is even deeper than learned habit patterns of family of origin issues.  Some of this difference comes back to the original commission given to Adam and Eve.  Remember from our earlier posts what those commissions were?

Adam was to ‘guard, guide and govern the Garden’ which means to solve the p roblems about the care of the Garden.  Eve’s commission was to ‘…be the ‘equal to, valuable assistant, his helpmate ….’ to help solve those problems. 

Every logical minded person needs to listen to what the intuitive is trying to say – but that means we intuitives have to learn to say things so that our more logically minded other/s can listen and understand.

Every ‘Adam’ need to value this input from his ‘Eve’ and has to learn to listen to what she is really trying to say.  This applies in a marriage, at a management level, worker and employee or any area of relationships!  Again this takes practice and communication skills!

PS Also check out this website on the same subject: http://www.faithfulchoices.com/how-to-talk-so-he-will-listen2/

Susanne Fengler, Blog Author

www.conflictsolutions.mentorsnotebook.com

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