We have been looking at the Family of Origin influences on Personality issues when it comes to handling conflict solutions. Here is another Personal Worksheet to assess your personal boundaries.
Connectedness versus Disconnected in your FOO was our first Personal Worksheet. Then we went onto FOO Flexible versus Inflexible. Posts and worksheets need to be read and together. It does help to print off the worksheets before you answer the questions.
Place a “1” next to the following questions where they apply to you.
____ 1. I often feel guilty about not doing enough for my parents or my spouse.
We now head into an area where we must tread carefully. Much of what we will share comes from over 25+ years of counselling experience and on a personal level, a very happy marriage of 40+ years. However, I aware that some of what we will share is be counter to the current ways of thinking in a society where ‘do your own thing’ is most people’s guidelines.
After 25+ years of counseling and Mentoring, we think we have seen most of the problems between the sexes. Too often we see two single people living in a marriage situation and neither have any idea of where their partner is thinking and acting. So how can we help such couples to learn to live within the healthily boundaries of marriage and still be unique, thriving individuals? How can two people, vastly different in their family of origin or life views adapt and grow as one unit? Is it even possible in our individualistic cultures?
We have seen opposites attract and yet their tensions tear apart a marriage … but that need not be. There are ways to get past the barriers created by the battle of the sexes, but first we must understand the basic fundamentals of male female relationships. We are very different, yes like Mars and Venus.
Let’s not get hung up on any stereotypes but join me as we find some answers.
To understand these questions, we need to go back to the beginnings of the relationship between males and females. These first recorded events surrounding the problems can be found in the Old Testament, in the book of Genesis.
Yes, I can almost hear the groans as we turn to this story but to me as a counsellor, so many of the answers about the war between the sexes are found in these pages. I have seen the story repeated a thousand times in our current mindset about marriage – even though it was almost 7,000 years ago when the first events happened.
I deeply believe the story in Genesis is the guidebook to where we need to head to understand why males and females are so different.
So please join us as we find out "What your Dad didn't tell you about the Opposite Sex!"
A comment from a client about my beloved husband to give some encouragement to guys that understanding females is possible:
"From a woman who has suffered hurt and abuse by men in her life, Daniel has been a shining light, a beacon of Godly manhood. Trusting men or even liking them had been difficult until I met Daniel and to this day, he is one of very few men I could honestly say I trust.
"He made it his business to find out how women think, feel and behave and is always prepared to listen when we are emotional. He is a man who so closely resembles Jesus that women can feel comfortable in his presence.
"Thank you Daniel for allowing Jesus to shape you into a man after His own heart."
If may Daniel can do this, so can so many other guys. He is the son of a Prussian - German engineer, who was spiritual dead, emotionally cripples and ruled by logic.
Good on ya' Daniel! I appreciate you too! Susanne
"Aw, this was an exceptionally nice post. Finding the time and actual effort to create a really good article but what can I say I put things off a whole lot and never manage to get nearly anything done.
You could certainly see your enthusiasm in the work you write. The world hopes for even more passionate writers like you who are not afraid to say how they believe. Always follow your heart."
Interesting post and I hope the beginnings of many more. I did need to learn about not having conflicts with my boss! Great looking blog too.