Jan 23

6/12 Helping Males understand the alien race of Females for Conflict Solutions

couple6So far, we have discussed how Creator God has made men and women in an incredible variety of personality, shape and size when it comes to Conflict Solutions.  It is difficult to talk about women or men in a general way without possibly getting into trouble, since they are so different to each other and need to be treated individually.  However, we need to talk about some of the common ways that men conflict with women so we can find solutions to this battle of the sexes.

1. The first area of confusion is that not all men and women are alike. 

A woman may have a ‘male’ characteristic in one area and be typically female in another.  That is why it is so important to carefully listen to them.  The same goes with males, especially in our society where the roles of each sex are undergoing change.  While each person is unique, however, it is still possible to make some general statements that remain mostly true to most of the opposite sex.

2.  How could we get cats and dogs to happily live together?

One of the first things we would need is for them not to judge each other.  Second, they need to cooperate and not compete.  Understanding is not always necessary, if they are tolerant of each other.  Good communication would be needed when people are so very different in their thinking and belief systems.

There are 7 main areas of misunderstanding that seem to cause the battle of the sexes between males and females:

a. Females are not males in female body.  Too many men and women have problems seeing the difference!

b. Opposites attract.  Believe it or not, sometimes opposites can complement each other but other times, it’s cats and dogs at war.

c. The Intuitive versus Rational thinking patterns.  Most females work on an intuitive basis while most males adapt problems in logical thinking.  It’s not right or wrong ….. There is a difference.  Again learning to communicate helps in learning team work.

d. The Parallel versus Serial behaviours and thinking patterns.  One tracked minds or doing more than one thing at a time?

e. The difference in the Logic versus the response of the Emotions,  Over-thinking issues versus seeing in black or white. Here is a humou4ous example of dangers of overthinking.  ‘Grounded for Life – Diet Coke’.

f. The Relationship focus versus the Problem solving.  Are we team orientation or independent in relationships?

g. The Fragile versus the Thick skinned approach to others.  Most women have a thinner ‘skin’, especially when it comes to conflicts.  Why is this so and what can be done about resolution when in conflict?

These are just some of the differences we will discuss in our Conflict Solution blog, plus adding some interesting books and maybe a YouTube discussion along the way.

I often ask men who come for counselling, whether they feel like this:  “It doesn’t matter what I do, it always seems to be wrong”.  This common complaint stems from the fact that men do not understand women very well.  Men often confuse women’s needs with their wants.

rejection_1An illustration of this is when a man brings flowers to appease an angry woman.  Some men would still not understand how she may feel patronised versus willing to let the flowers be a peace offering.

Ultimately only Jesus can tell men, through prayer, which ‘complaint’ is denying of need and which are wants or feelings (although it must be said that all feelings are legitimate).

So continue with us as we see the differences in Male and Female thinking in the Battle of the Sexes.

Susanne Fengler, Blog Author


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1 comment

  1. Lee

    Keep up the good work, I’m enjoying this blog.

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