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Apr 22

6/19 The Parallel versus Serial Differences in Males and Females

rejection_1We are currently covering the seven major differences in Males and Females.  So far, we challenged the belief that females are just like males in a female body.  Then we went on to seeing that opposites can attract in beneficial ways.  Intuitive versus rational thinking was the 3rd are we presented, again trying to find the God-given balance is the issue to resolve conflicts.

The fourth area is another one of the 7 major differences between males and females: One tracked minds or doing more than one thing at a time?  A common issue is the ‘single focus of most males’ versus ‘the multi-tasking’ of more females.  This area often causes judgements and complaints between couple and in other relationships.  We realise that this is a huge subject on itself, but we now endeavour to present some simple concept to help in Conflict Solutions.

At the heart of the problems is that most intuitives often are thinking about more than one thing at a time.  Most rationalists are much more focused and even seem to have a ‘one track’ mind.  One Person described most intuitive females as having 10 partly read books on the nightstand or processing many activities at the same time. Other intuitives can have multiple files open at the one time and be organised and productive.  For most rational thinkers, this would be impossible and confusing but not to an intuitive.  However, for most intuitives, the ability to think along multiple lines is common.

Intuitives often don’t consider themselves good at detailed work, maps or school subjects like math because of the lack of confidence or because of the comments rationalists instil in them.  Criticism hits both males and females in this area but most often, girls have developed less maths and science skills.  However, when it comes to English and written expression, girls outweigh most males.

 ‘Myth Busters’, an interesting science orientated TV, show explores many myths, including the commonly held position that women are better at multi-tasking than males.  They set a list of tasks for individual males and couple6females to complete within a set time limit.  This included answering the phone, ironing a shirt, making lunch, working out a grocery list …. and watching an automated baby crawling around on the floor.

Predictable, with the 15 people during the exercise, there were a few males and a few females that failed the test.  However, overall, the women showed a higher score in completing the tasks, especially keeping the crawling baby within its boundaries.  Besides being highly humorous, the overall outcome was that multitasking females were better at doing many jobs at the same time.

Certainly you can see this in your world?  However, those who are single minded on their task usually do the job better than those with scattered attention spans set on doing many things …. but often not too well overall.

Again we can trace this back the commissions given to the original pair, Adam and Eve.  Her ability to think through different solutions to issues, to present different ideas along with caring for their children was a help for Adam …. when he listened with Godly ears.

Here is one way my husband – who is the logical, a rational Maths/Science teacher – and I – the intuitive – have managed to address and grow into a happy marriage.  It’s like the rational, single focused person is on a train – a train to their destination.  Very focused, the task is to reach their goal, to reach the train station and then they can change tasks.  For the intuitive, with the need to interrupt for phone calls, important questions or just to need to talk, this single minded focus is frustration.  How can the two survive in a relationship?

For us, it was to gently ask my husband: “Are you close to a train station yet?  Please let me know when you are so I can ask you D&S2something.”  For Daniel, it to make sure he have deliberately planned in more train stations, to stop and focus on me and what I needed.

The problem here is when intuitives approach the rationalist when they are not at a ‘train station’.  Intuitives need to learn to not despise the focus that rationalists have.  Rationalists need to learn to move the ‘train stations’ closer togetherSince realising this, we both have tried to see the other’s viewpoint.  I interrupt him less and he is becoming more intuitive.

Intuitives need to learn to not despise the focus that rationalists have.  Rationalists need to learn to move the ‘train stations’ closer together.

So where are you in the spectrum of Rational, logical versus intuitive balance?  Again this where opposites attract as most often, you will find an intuitive is married or in relationship with a very logical, rational person.  Then sometimes, it is the female in the relationship that is the logical one and the male is the intuitive.  We can’t make value judgements but help each person learn to live with the person in the relationship. 

In our next posts, we will face the fifth major area of conflicts, the logical versus the emotions elements in relationships with the opposite sex.

Susanne Fengler, Blog Author

www.conflictsolutions.mentorsnotebook.com 

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