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Sep 04

6/27 The 8th difference: Sexual Arousal in males and females

Add waffles and speg.  Here first!

male female questionsNow we come the eight major difference between most males and most females: Sexual arousal.  Again to catch a good summary of wht we have discussed so far, go back to the 6/23 post, The 6th Difference in Genders for Conflict Solutions post.  In this post, we shall look at the interesting difference in the male female response to sexual attraction.

The ‘sex centre’ in your brain is located in the hypothalamus, which is also that part of the brain that controls the emotions, heart rate and blood pressure.  Hormones, especially testosterone, are released from this gland, stimulating the desire for sex.

  1. Sexual arousal difference between genders

“If men are gas cookers, women are electric ovens.”  A male can ignite instantly and operates at full capacity in seconds, to be turned off just as quickly.  A woman’s sex drive heats slower and takes longer to cool down.

See our Conflict Solutions book report on “Men are Like Waffles and Women are Like Spaghetti’, by Mark Pease.

In his book, Mark Pease presented an interesting study.  For most men, their sex drive peaks around 19 and falls in later life.  An average woman shows more interest in sex in later years.

2. Relationship versus physical response

This is a topic that often enters the Counselling rooms and causes friction for most couples.  For most wives, sexual arousal includes an emotional aspect, of relationship.  This need doesn’t seem to be as strong in most males.  She needs the intimacy to be based on emotional closeness.  If this is missing, most women don’t bother with the desire for sex.

3. “Warm fuzzies” are part of female sexual arousal

When Daniel brings Susan a cup of tea in the morning and makes ‘contact’ with her, it is part of the ‘warm, fizzy’ feelings that make her want to have sex with him.  For many wives this arousal may take the whole day to increase.  One moment of conflict can ‘destroy’ the whole process.  Love making begins with the morning emotional contact.  Without this contact, most women feel drained and not ready to make love at night.

4. Visually stimulation is important for Males

Males, on the other hand, can get visually stimulate very easily, which means they can ‘come on’ very quickly.  This is also the source of male lust problems.  It is said that “men will give love to get sex, women will give sex to get love”.

5. Women don’t want to be used

Many wives get angry and disappointed if they are there just to fulfil the male’s sex drive.  The husband needs to spend time in romance and foreplay to bring the wife to arousal.  If the woman is not getting anything out of it for herself, she will be reluctant to participate the next time.

Some men only touch their wives when they want sex.  This is insulting for women, especially since touch is a human and female need.  Men need to repent and start to enjoy touching their wives for the sensuality of it.

Women and men are designed by God to be physically, emotionally and relationally different from each other.  Women are not just ‘males’ in female bodies!!  It takes time, relationship and romance to properly sexually arouse most wives.

For long term sexual fulfilment in a relationship, both males and females need to learn what it means ‘….to make love….”.  It is well worth the discovery to be able to enjoy sexual pleasure even into your 70’s!  However, unless both people learn to expand and please the other, sad to say most couples drop sex somewhere around the 50’s or 60’s.  That wasn’t God’s idea.

Take the attitude and learn to study women as a scientific curiosity!

Also check other blog on good books on this topic: www.thebookaboutyou.mentorsnotebook.com

Susanne Fengler, Blog Author



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