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Nov 26

6/29 There are many Differences between Males & Females

family or originThis part of our message today is hotly debated in most circles.  We can see clear physical differences between most males and most females, but what about the underlying personality and relationship differences?  From my reading and personal experience in counselling, I believe that there are basic differences, both from their environment and conditioning and set by God. 

In our past posts, we have covered 8 major differences.  In this post, we shall expand and look for answers as to why this is so.

1. From the Beginning, Adam and Eve were meant to be ONE.

 In the Garden, this was broken and must now be restored for unity.  Remember from our first story how Father God took His own divine nature and gave this to Adam.  He then split Eve from Adam.  In making two beings, one of their challenges would be to become as one.

Part of His nature is within women and part is within men.  Certainly, some overlap can be seen as what Eve did affects the male side of mankind as well as the female side.  There are ‘grey areas’ as not all men or women will fit 100% into the listing below.  However, there is enough correlation to make some statements about the differences.

Trying to eliminate any differences between the sexes is destroying the unique gifts each gender can make to the whole of society.  In listening to couples talk about their uniqueness in the counselling rooms, each brings a special view the other needs.

However, whether you agree with this section on my own observations, or not, please see this as ‘Food for thought’.  My apologies if I am ‘creating more sceptics and critics than friends’.

Some Notable Differences from the Counselling Room:



 1. Her focus is on the relationship and the influence on the problem. His focus is on getting into the problem, and solving it.
 2. A woman is less centred on achievement as a means for wholeness. Men have more God given capacity to move into events and earn status.
 3. She sees herself in relationship to family, friends and others. Status comes more from the work identity.
 4. Relates with words as involvement, attachment and invitation, an inviting others. Relates with words like separateness, achievement and entering, a moving towards others
 5. Often it is her emotions versus logic debate over decisions. His logic versus emotions debate influences decisions.
 6. Must remain sensitive to too much other involvement. Must remain sensitive to any self-centred patterns in relating.
 7. Wants the deepest part of her being enjoyed and appreciated for her uniqueness. Most males must learn how to do this if no example from dad or other males in family.
 8. Desires an advocate and a gentle strength for encouragement. Can problem solve but must learn to listen before becomes ‘Mr Fix-it’.
 9. Needs to know God’s plan for femininity to fully enjoy total health and growth. Steps into God’s plan for domination NOT domination of others, leads by example, as Jesus does.

1.  Mutual servanthood is the goal. 

This was broken so must be restored as the body of Christ.  A man serves women differently than women serve a man.  Our concepts of maleness and femaleness are different and influenced by the entrance of sin into the world.

We both have mutual authority to serve the other.  God’s authority presupposes a difference between the two. couple6 It is this difference we need to see and to use for the benefit of the relationship.  The challenge is for equal authority and responsibility but with God’s selected roles and authority for each gender.

So what are the basic principles we can learn from this section on Male Female differences?  What is the heart of the Battle between the sexes?

2. The Submissive Attitude is for Every Believer.

Submission is not just for us wives so that husbands can do their own thing.  It is for all believers.  Why will this ideal attitude bring His mission to Earth?

We are to win the world by being a mirror. 5. To win the world by our “…chase and gentle behaviour”, I Peter 3:1-6.   Become a mirror.

3. Recognise and Deal with the Basic Old Nature in Ourselves.

As Believers, we need to face our own part in the process of rebellion against God and our use of self as the source of life.

Understand the difference between the roots and the fruits of the old nature, Gal.   Try to deal always with roots rather than ‘just try harder’ to solve the problem.  The more I recognise the old nature in my own life, the less I feel the guilt, shame and pull attached to the fruits of the old nature

4. Learn to UNDO the issues between the sexes BY DOING THE OPPOSITE of what Adam and Eve did!

5. It is never about the “Doormat” Philosophy?

God never designed either sex to become the ‘doormat’ without the God-given honour that comes with being His creation!  When we see that the Doormat view is not valid, we have only two choices:  Manipulate or withdraw – or learn to do things His way.

Two common reactions from men: give away their authority in apathy, or to take his authority in domination, force and apply his will – Godly or not.

6. Know the Battle Lines. 

As wives where is our Responsibility?

Battle is over the rod of authority – who has the authority to have the authority?  Eve was deceived into thinking she could act outside of God’s established patterns of authority.  However, Adam knew exactly what he was doing when he rebelled against God’s established patterns of authority.

The battlefield is still over who has the authority to use their authority.  This is the heart of the curse between Adam and Eve.  By yielding to Jesus in our lives, this breaks that curse supernaturally.  Then this allows us a choice on how we will live.  Will we follow that old, sinful nature inherited by Adam and Eve- or will we follow Father God’s plan for our lives?

Under Christ, we both have the authority to serve, but with different God-given responsibilities.

7. By nature, we females are Rescuers.

Jesus was not a rescuer.  He did only what the Father told Him to do.  He lived by the principles of God.  If anyone could have rescued the world He way, it was Jesus!  We get the mate we attract for many reasons.  Rescuers tend to attract those who want to be rescued.

As females, we must face the ‘Cliff Rescuer View’ to release our tendency to take the authority to act.  Then means often we have to let someone fall over the cliff before they are ready to deal with their own issues.  Interesting!

Susanne Fengler, Blog Author


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