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Mar 07

6/31 Conflict Solutions looks at the Roles in Running a Home

The issues in who does what around the home is one of the crisis points for many relationships.  Who takes the responsibility for the household and outside duties, for discipline and raising the children, for finances, communication and planning style, for sex and personal pleasure or for long range planning?

Print off the following chart.  Mark an “X” if you do these roles yourself.  Write a “0” if no one does this job.  Write a “P” for anyone else who does the job.  Mark the “N” if this does not apply to you and your family.

Evaluate: What is the closes style of Running these roles in your family?   The scale ranges from

1 = Rules are well set,

5 = Rules are not set or defined, each decides what’s best.


HOUSE DUTIES 0 1 2 3 4 5
  1. Shopping
  1. Washing dishes
  1. Own bedrooms
  1. Vacuum & dust
  1. Mow lawns
  1. Clean car
  1. Oil, tyres, water
  1. Weeding, etc.
  1. Bathroom, toilet
  1. Prepare meals
  1. Repairs/house
  1. Repairs/out
  1. Washing cloth.
  1. Other:


  1. Setting tables
  1. Entertains
  1. Garbage















  1. Sets bedtime
  1. Sets TV time
  1. baths, cleans
  1. Prepare meals
  1. Entertains o/s
  1. Cleans rooms
  1. Enforces rules
  1. ‘Taxi service’
  1. Reads stories
  1. Buys uniforms


 0  1  2  3  4  


  1. Earns o/s money
  1. Pays the bills
  1. Bankcard
  1. Set the budget
  1. Savings in bank
  1. Does taxes
  1. Buys his clothes
  1. Investments
  1. Retirement fund
  1. Buys major


  1. Buys petrol, oil
  1. Pays meals out
  1. Pays for holiday
  1. Buys her clothes
  1. Buys kid’s clothes


 0  1  2  3  4  


  1. Writes letters
  1. Answers phone
  1. Begins discussion
  1. Ends discussions
  1. Calls for truce
  1. Gives forgiveness
  1. Resolves hurts
  1. Talks with neigh-


  1. Sets time alone
  1. Discuss holidays


 0  1  2  3  4  


  1. Sets time for sex.
  1. Sets where
  1. Initiates sex.
  1. Sets limits on sex
  1. Discusses issues
  1. Sets level of Growth or satisfaction

Does this style of managing the roles and duties in your home work best for you?  What and how could you change the situation so everyone is happier?

In presenting the different roles/duties in running a home, we trust this helps you set out some boundaries to help make your home a happier and smother running place.  Another issue is how your style of running your home compares with your Family of Origin.   Of course, carrying out the agreements on these roles is another topic for another post.

Susanne Fengler, Blog Author


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