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May 07

Conflict Solutions looks at the top 10 Complaints by Husband and Wives

Another interesting discussion point comes from the counselling room.

COMPLAINTS FROM WIVES ABOUT HUSBANDS/MEN:  COMPLAINTS FROM HUSBANDS  ABOUT WIVES/WOMEN:
  1. Failure to give Godly or any directions or leadership.
Takes over my right to decide or give directions, turns children away from me
  1. Unaware of where the wife and children really are.
“She gives too much attention on the children, church, not me.”
  1. Buries his feelings and says there is nothing wrong
“She can’t forget the old hurts, issues or grievances and my failures.”
  1. The inability to really listen to what the wife and children are saying.
“Why does she have to talk so much?  Can’t she just get to the point?”
  1. He breaks his commitments and what he says he will do.
“Sometimes things come up that are more important than what I said yesterday.”
  1. Erratic growth patterns – “He is not interested in personal growth.”
Her growth leaves husband alone and behind.
  1. Avoidance of real issues – “Sometimes He just wants to sweep things under the rug and avoid what’s important to me.”
Fear of confrontation:“I hate conflict so much I often either just give in or I ignore what she is saying.  I don’t want to argue like my parents!”
  1. Doesn’t look for answers beyond self and own decisions.
“I have a good sense of what needs to be fixed so why should I ask anyone else?
  1. “I wish he would step in and lead the home with love.”
“My wife has too high expectations of me.  She won’t allow me to make mistakes.”
  1. “He doesn’t understand my emotions.”
“Why can’t she be logically like me?”

Do any of these issues seem to be a problem in your relationship with your partner?  If so, find a good marriage Counsellor, preferable an older Christian couple, and learn from their wisdom.

Susanne Fengler, Blog Author

www.conflictsolutions.mentorsnotebook.com

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