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Jul 25

The Rules Guys Wish Girls Knew to help Conflict Solutions

sexual expectationsRecently I heard a good discussion on the things that guys wish girls knew.   They’re not difficult, but following them makes things run much smoother at home.  Here is a summary:

  1. Ask for what you want.  Let us be clear on this one: subtle hints do not work.  Strong hints do not work.  Just say it!
  2. No, we do not know what day it is.  We never will.  Mark anniversaries on the calendar.  Remind us frequently beforehand.
  3. Most guys own 3 pairs of shoes – tops.  What makes you think we would be any good choosing which pair, out of 30, would look good with your dress?
  4. “Yes” and “no” are perfectly acceptable answers.  If you think you are fat, you probably are.  Do not ask us.  We refuse to answer.
  5. Learn to work the toilet seat.  You are a big girl.  If it’s up, put it down.
  6. Do not cut your hair.  Ever.  Long hair is always more attractive than short hair.  One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married woman always cut their hair, and by then, you are stuck with her.
  7. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!
  8. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you do not want to hear.
  9. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you.  Live with it.
  10. Do not ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation and the latest trade rumours.
  11. Sunday = sports.  It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides.  Let it be.
  12. Shopping is not a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way.
  13. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine….really.
  14. You have enough clothes.  You have too many shoes.
  15. Crying is blackmail as I don’t know how to handle it.
  16. Your ex-boyfriend is an idiot.
  17. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.  That’s what we do.  Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
  18. Don’t rub the lamp if you don’t want the genie to come out.
  19. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.  In fact, all comments become null and void after seven days.
  20. If you won’t dress like ‘Victoria’s Secret’ girls, don’t expect us to act like soap opera guys.
  21. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you feel sad or angry, we meant the other one.
  22. Let us ogle.  We are going to look anyway – it’s genetic.
  23. Check your oil.  Please.  Learn to take care of important things rather than expect me do it.
  24. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done – not both.  If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
  25. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
  26. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
  27. Women wearing wonder-bras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.  More women should wear wonder-bras and low-cut blouses.  We like staring at boobs.
  28. All men see in only 16 colours, like Windows the default setting.  Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour.  Pumpkin is a vegetable.  We have no idea what mauve is.
  29. If it itches, it will be scratched.  We do that.
  30. We are not mind readers and we never will be.  Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how much we care about you.
  31. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing”, we will act like nothing’s wrong.  We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
  32. Then what is a doily?
  33. I’ll met your parents sure, like maybe next year?

Send me a comment if you agree … or disagree!

Susanne Fengler, Blog Author


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